Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Children Learn What They Live, by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. in 1972
In 1972, Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. published a treatise, a manifesto that is elegant: brilliance, simply and directly expressed.
For me across time, it became a touchstone for raising healthy, resourceful, intentional children at home and in my classrooms later. Across the decades, I have too often seen Dr. Nolte's treatise published anonymously... even posted on the office door of another professor at a reputable city college -as if it was his idea...
Clearly, his students could too readily believe this original expression of "Aha" thoughts belonged to their professor. Each time I passed his office door, I imagined Dorothy Nolte's name inscribed below the uncredited writing. I was tempted to leave the guy a note; maybe however he believed such magnificent wisdom expressed was truly anonymous... and never considered searching further.
For me across time, it became a touchstone for raising healthy, resourceful, intentional children at home and in my classrooms later. Across the decades, I have too often seen Dr. Nolte's treatise published anonymously... even posted on the office door of another professor at a reputable city college -as if it was his idea...
Clearly, his students could too readily believe this original expression of "Aha" thoughts belonged to their professor. Each time I passed his office door, I imagined Dorothy Nolte's name inscribed below the uncredited writing. I was tempted to leave the guy a note; maybe however he believed such magnificent wisdom expressed was truly anonymous... and never considered searching further.
From forty-five years of experience knowing the intensely devoted lives of classroom teachers, I wouldn't be surprised if Dorothy Nolte had practiced this craft before earning her Ph.D.
- She clearly speaks from depth and breadth of experience.
- Her authorship of brilliant work continues too often to go unacknowledged.
- She has quietly taken a back seat in the world since publishing this masterpiece -she has likely been much too busy walking her talk to look over her shoulder at what others are doing (or not doing) on behalf of her professional world.
And I find myself wondering if her doctorate was earned in the field of Child Development. I have changed the font in a few entries below to highlight them, to give us focus for pondering further, in later posts. I wonder which entries you find evidence for in your work today with the children in your charge.
I will research such questions for us later, but now ... enjoy the wisdom Dorothy expressed for us committed to master our craft as Global Parents!
Children Learn What They Live
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
P.S.
In my work with kids, I have found Nolte's conditional statements become social algorithms. They serve as simple diagnostic and team planning guides to readily address some common attitudinal/behavioral problems children present.
For instance if a child is kindness-challenged, the experiential antidote more often than not is explicit teaching and guided experiences in the development of authentic and pervasive human respect. Lack of appropriate learning in the respect department results in lopsided social dynamics.
When exploring the child's fuller social history, we are likely to find false and unbalanced kinds of respect practiced at home, or witnessed repeatedly in the neighborhood: some people are accorded high respect while others are demeaned, or overlooked, or invisible.
Instead, " If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect." Unless the real needs and strengths of all beings (each kind) in our social environments are honorably considered, fairly acknowledged, appreciated for their unique contributions/character, a lopsided sense of importance and worthiness is palpable, absorb-able.
Instead of learning the value of interdependence through the practice of kindness and consideration, a sense of hierarchy is absorbed. Hierarchy is absorbed by children (whose practices, unchecked, strengthen into adulthood) because such a lopsided model of dominance and control is in fact practiced in social environments which are less interpersonally/intrapersonally oriented. There are many primitive (and ancient) cultures that are (were) advanced in such orientation. We would do well to study these with our children, and model these in our homes, neighborhoods, schools, and marketplace.
P.S.
In my work with kids, I have found Nolte's conditional statements become social algorithms. They serve as simple diagnostic and team planning guides to readily address some common attitudinal/behavioral problems children present.
For instance if a child is kindness-challenged, the experiential antidote more often than not is explicit teaching and guided experiences in the development of authentic and pervasive human respect. Lack of appropriate learning in the respect department results in lopsided social dynamics.
When exploring the child's fuller social history, we are likely to find false and unbalanced kinds of respect practiced at home, or witnessed repeatedly in the neighborhood: some people are accorded high respect while others are demeaned, or overlooked, or invisible.
Instead, " If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect." Unless the real needs and strengths of all beings (each kind) in our social environments are honorably considered, fairly acknowledged, appreciated for their unique contributions/character, a lopsided sense of importance and worthiness is palpable, absorb-able.
Instead of learning the value of interdependence through the practice of kindness and consideration, a sense of hierarchy is absorbed. Hierarchy is absorbed by children (whose practices, unchecked, strengthen into adulthood) because such a lopsided model of dominance and control is in fact practiced in social environments which are less interpersonally/intrapersonally oriented. There are many primitive (and ancient) cultures that are (were) advanced in such orientation. We would do well to study these with our children, and model these in our homes, neighborhoods, schools, and marketplace.
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