A is very different from Z.
A is like and upside down V.
When learning the alphabet visually, learners require less instructional intervention to differentiate A from Z. Remembering that A is not V seems to pose more challenge.
Knowing this perceptual axiom operates in human learning, think about how you would rate (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) the following pairs for ease of differentiation (1=hard to differentiate; 5=easy to differentiate):
- A vs O
- A vs B
- C vs O
- I vs. O
- E vs B
- T vs I
- D vs A
- D vs O
- F vs E
- F vs B
Through this exercise, we learn that the more features item or event (x) has in common with another item/event (y), the more thoroughly we must examine their similarities and differences in order to tell them apart.
Practical Application for Parents and Teachers:
If we want our children to more quickly change their behaviors from the kind we disapprove of to the kind we approve of then we must make it easy for them to differentiate. Smiles and affable talk clearly indicate parents and teachers approve of the behavior displayed. Neutral face with a firmly stated "No"(or some equivalent of "No") typically indicates disapproval -with an explicit or implicit invitation to shift to an approved behavior.
We make it hard for chidren learn to control their impulses (i.e., master the necessary shifting to approved behaviors) when we muddle our verbal, voice tone, and body language cues. When we mix communication features of a YES vs NO, we delay the development of impulse control. We make it harder for learners to distinctions between our "approving" and "disapproving" responses to their behaviors. This delays development of their ability to eventually "self-regulate."
We send mixed messages to our children when we disapprove but smile ... or talk sweetly. this hardly means adults need to speak harshly or loudly or use aggressive strategies like character assassination, disparaging labels, cruelty or meanness. A simple statement of disapproval -coupled with natural/logical consequences - consistently applied will do more to shape behavior, than punishment, or enduring parental exasperation.
The more important it is to select an appropriate response to x vs y, the more important it is to differentiate between them. This is true for all life forms, regardless of age or species. Parents and teachers who cultivate paying positive attention to children, build up a positive emotional/relational bank account! When children get the positive guidance and consistent attention needed to strengthen bonds as children evolve - they are less likely to seek attention through unpleasant and irritating means. They are also more likely to engage those things we want them to accomplish when they have recieved recognition for these things consistently in the past.
Dr. Carol Dweck, Ph.D. reminds us also to be very careful to recognize and reward the effort exerted. When focus is placed on the effort given a task, children learn that time and accuracy matter -which they do. The single greatest factor determining school success is time on task. Just spending time on a task, without persistent effort to become more accurate, just makes us better at being inaccurate! Practicing reading books that are too hard for us, turns us off from reading, and does nothing to build fluency and vocabularly. Careless practice of anything simply reinforces carelessness.
Dr. Dweck reminds us that children who have been admired and recognized for their "cleverness" or "smartness," (in contrast to the effort they willingly engage), eventually refrain from engaging anything that is not immediately easy and rewarding. Their positive identities have been tied to being so clever or being so smart...they do not want to risk diminishing this image -so they begin to decline challenges, become defensive. As they age they learn different ways to hide the fact that they do not really know -and asking for help becomes a sign they are no longer "smart" enough, "clever" enough.
To avoid this result, be observant of the many opportunities we have in a morning, day, weekend, and week to "outloud" recognize our children's effort and those specific behaviors displayed while exerting these efforts. When we consistently recognize and compliment specific efforts, our children will also. this is how children continue to grow in competancy and self-esteem. They come to realize that growth is change...and the effort they exert makes change reliable.
EXAMPLE: I notice you put our clothes for tomorrow out on the chair as I asked you. You did it the first time I asked you. You did not whine or complain. Also, you cheerfully asked me questions about whether or not this or that peice of clothing was appropriate for school. You even walked into the kitchen to ask your wuestions, instead of yelling from the other room. I really appreciate the time you took and each of your efforts to follow my guidance. You did it on time! And you aksed for my help in pleasant ways. I am proud of the ways you are working to help yourself grow more skillful.
